Being disorderly and calling it being a sharp guy: you know, just refusing to stick to the rules . Jumping lines, paying to get something that’s free because it’s faster, can’t even complain you just get with the program.
Shouting up nepa when power comes on; I bet there’s a child somewhere who’s first words are going to be up nepa! Cos it’s just something that is in the blood of Nigerians we have an epileptic power supply and sometimes we go long periods without light which is “normal “ by the way ,so when you do see the light you can’t help but shout up nepa . I’ve been doing that since I was a child .
ASUU strike ; ASUU is always on strike,you’ll be planning a great semester and then boom strike!
Being grabbed by strangers in the market ; if you want to go to the market you have to brace yourself. I recommend having working earphones and putting on a serious face, you know the type that says if you touch me eh.. because once you step into the market if it’s not “my color” “fine girl or boy” “seniorman” then it’s some stranger grabbing your arm trying to lead you to their shop. One time someone touched my neck the way I changed it for him eh even I was shocked by my reaction. And everyone was looking at me like I had lost my mind,not the guy who grabbed me that’s how normal it is here.
Calling things by generic brand names
Nigerians have a habit of calling everything by the popular brand name they are associated with. Toothpaste is Maclean, it doesn’t matter whether Close-up is written on the tube. Noodles are generally called Indomie and Sausage rolls are called Gala.
One time I went to buy sausage rolls and I called it like it is, the shop owner looked at me puzzled before saying he didn’t have it. Funny thing is I was looking right at it, I had to correct myself and say “Gala”.
Saying “Sorry, excuse me please”
Living in Nigeria is not for the faint hearted, you never know who is walking around with a full jar of aggression, due to pent up frustration and stress ready to pour it on you. Nigerians understand this, you’ll find that when someone walks up to a stranger for any reason, they’ll start the conversation with “sorry, excuse me please”. It’s a like a two-factor authentication to make sure you avoid unwarranted outbursts of anger, and you’re more likely to get help that way.