How long should a wedding engagement last? Is 8 years too much?

Engagement, a symbol of commitment and the promise of a lifelong journey, but how long is too long to wait for the vows and rings?

Uncle OGA and Bolanle’s engagement tale unfolds, and it’s causing quite a stir this week. Imagine waiting for eight years only to realize the commitment might never happen.

Bolanle and Uncle OGA entered into engagement bliss a year after university—a seemingly perfect love story. However, the hitch comes in the form of OGA’s aversion to any form of wedding celebration. No vows, no rings, nothing.

Bolanle, ever the compromiser, suggested elopement as a middle ground. OGA wasn’t having it. She lowered the bar further, proposing paperwork for a legal union with a later celebration among friends. Shockingly, OGA refused, citing financial concerns and dismissing her concerns as childish.

The question that arises is, why propose if there’s no intention of sealing the deal? The engagement, which is supposed to be a step closer to marriage, seems to have lost its essence. So, to avoid getting caught up in such situations, it is important to plan accordingly. To ensure that this doesn’t occur as it did with Bolanle, here are a few guidelines:

Avoid Overfamiliarity: Being engaged doesn’t necessarily mean moving in together. Overfamiliarity can lead to complacency and an extended engagement that loses sight of the original commitment.

Set Expectations Early: Ensure both partners are on the same page regarding marriage and the timeline. If you propose, be ready for the responsibilities and commitments that come with it.

Say No If Unsure it’s perfectly okay to say no to a proposal if it feels premature or if the partner doesn’t seem ready. A rushed engagement might lead to unnecessary complications.

Last but not the least, don’t beg for a Ring: A proposal should be a mutual decision, not a result of pressure or persuasion. Begging for a ring might lead to a token gesture rather than a genuine commitment.

Engagement should be a stepping stone towards a shared future, not a prolonged waiting game. Aspiring couples should communicate openly about their expectations, plans, and timelines. The essence of engagement lies in the commitment it symbolizes, and both partners should be equally invested in making it a meaningful journey toward marriage.