Toxic beliefs are things about our life that do not help us grow developed from tragic circumstances, failure, childhood issues and trauma. These beliefs haunt us and hold us back if we don’t resolve them. They could ruin our lives and get in the way of achieving our goals. It is essential to identify these toxic beliefs and get rid of them. These poisonous beliefs could include feeling like;
You are not good enough.
Believing you are not good enough could stem from constantly being harshly criticised by everyone around you when you try to attempt anything. So you got accustomed to thinking you are not good at anything. When you genuinely find interest in certain things and try to attempt them, you talk yourself out of it because you believe you will fail. You convince yourself that it is not essential to avoid feeling the pain of trying and failing. The truth is you may not be qualified or an expert at the things you love and want to try out, but that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you are a loser; it simply means you need to find the things that you are great at, and it is not a bad idea to test out the ideas that excite you, you could be on to something great, but you wouldn’t know that if you let your fears hold you back.Even if you don’t get that job/grant you applied for, it’s okay. Don’t let the fear of rejection get in the way of living up to your potential. Eventually, you’ll find the best fit for you. You are worthy and deserving of everything good. You need to believe it.
Everyone Eventually Leaves Me
This belief stems from having abandonment issues that resulted from being abandoned by the people who were supposed to be always there for you, usually starting in childhood, so you learned to put up walls and not let anyone in because you fear getting attached and eventually getting abandoned. This makes it hard for you to build lasting relationships with other people because you refuse to commit to anyone. This is common with romantic relationships, and it could make it hard for your relationship to be a stable one. You may find yourself projecting onto your partner when there is a slight change in their attitude because it reminds you of an episode with someone who abandoned you. It is essential to self-reflect and determine if your fear of abandonment antagonises a perfect relationship. Relationships could end for many reasons, but if you felt compatible with someone and it didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.
Quitters Are Losers
Quitters are looked down upon and judged harshly because many motivational speakers begin their speeches with “Quitters never win, keep going”. But sometimes, quitting is genuinely the best thing that can happen to you. If you continually put energy into something that only drains because you are scared of starting over. It is okay to get out of a hurting relationship instead of always trying to fix it, especially if you are the only one trying. It’s okay to quit the job that leaves you feeling miserable. It is okay to move out of a city that doesn’t offer you any opportunities to succeed. I am not saying you shouldn’t go after what you want but know when to stop.
Always Be The Bigger Person
I particularly dislike this one because it lets people who constantly treat you poorly get away with it. It can be highly toxic because it allows people who poison our lives to continue to stick around. While it is essential to be graceful in every situation, it is also helpful to not give toxic people unlimited access to your life in the name of being the bigger person. Cut ties with friends or partners who constantly disrespect you and cross the line is a form of self-care.
Suffer Suffer Mentality
Believing that the only time you can achieve success is when you struggle is toxic. This is because even when you are presented with better options to get to where you need to be, you take the challenging route believing nothing good comes easy. While you may need to apply yourself to anything you want to do, it doesn’t mean you have to push yourself to the point of exhaustion to make progress. People may judge you for not indulging in hustle culture and taking rests when needed, but that’s okay. How they feel about you finding more innovative, more efficient ways to get things done is none of your business.