Fawning: Why You May Be Practicing It

If you grew up in an explosive household you probably learned that the best way to stay out of trouble was to follow the rules a little too much, agree with everything and lie to avoid conflict. Unfortunately that coping mechanism may not leave you and you’ll find that you’ve grown up to become a people pleaser.
Fawning basically refers to a situation where you resort to trying to appease someone by going along with whatever they want to keep the peace.
Victims of abusers fawn in order to stop the possibility of more harm. They know that if they pretend to be okay with their abuse, they get abused less. They would lay low and give in to whatever demands their abuse makes to de-escalate the situation.
Fawning manifests mostly in people pleasing. When you struggle to say no, take on tasks even when you’re incapable of completing them because you already have too much on your plate you’re fawning. People who fawn find it hard to express their actual needs and feelings they just agree with what everyone around them says. This is unhealthy because ignoring your needs may start to take a toll on you and you’ll find yourself trying to keep up with everything you’ve taken on because you couldn’t say no.
Here’s what fawning looks like;
1.Struggling to set boundaries because you don’t want to upset people around you.
2.Making decisions based on what other people want, never taking yourself into consideration.
3.Blaming yourself for other people’s behavior.
4.Agreeing with others’ preferences instead of stating your own.
Fawning is mostly caused by abuse and trauma, people who fawn learn that it’s the only way to keep themselves safe from perceived danger. Abusers are not always abusive and may be nice to their victims sometimes which may indicate to the victim that the abuse is their fault and if they behaved well they wouldn’t be punished.